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Monday, September 05, 2005

The Attack of the Brain Balls

It was November the 28th, the year was 208008 CE and over the last 20 millennia the world had changed so drastically that a person could not tell who was human, machine, or a hydroplastercine-based lifeform. Earth and the other planets had suffered vast wars, disputes and rebellions for many tens of thousands of years. When cities fell, they were rebuilt. When people died, they were revived. When children were born, they were unborn. The rising population forced us on to and under water. Intelligent robots were built to build whole cities on water to house millions of people. Mars had been colonised by the Americans in 205000. They claimed it as their own.

After years of negotiations Mars was freed from American control and a body formed to rule it. International treaties made by the United Milky Nations (the UMN) in 208000 had ended all world war, or so 'they' said. Mars was an ally to Earth and the Solar System had now been populated heavily due to the exponentially growing populations of all other lifeforms in the known Universe. Time travel was made possible over 7 millennia ago and warp speed 9 systems were being developed by intergalactic governments as a collective project. This was the age of technology, discovery and progression and I was part of it.

My name is Glorious Lightus 9 of the Satakari Empire on Mars and today I bear witness to a great disaster on Urectum (formerly Uranus) as I was doing fighter pilot training in the near vicinity. It was attacked unexpectedly on its Northern quadrant towards the city of Epimentia. Again it seems like classic Brain Ball tactics to destroy our stronghold. The atomic bomb on Earth and Mars in the early 200th Century by an unknown alien fleet had caused the very sky above to become pitch black with smog for all 28 hours of the day on Mars. The era became known as the Age of Smog. The UMN worked with intergalactic Governments to find the culprits. To everyone's sheer disgust, it was the Brain Balls. The reason they were able to carry out such attacks was because they had big brains and they also had, big gugga luggas. Again it seems they have attacked us when we least expected it and I fear that the war is going to start all over again.

Glorious Lightus 9 was a mere puny child when he first started in the Young World Army Division that was formed by the British Navy. His grandfather had fought in two of the greatest world wars ever witnessed, World War 20 and World War 21. He continued to live in cryogenic suspension where he is today, frozen at a respectable age of two hundred and one in the Public Cryogenic Labs. Glorious had a background in fighting and was affluent in Aikido, Kick Boxing, Wing Chun Kung Fu, Gatka, Jujitsu and Tai Chi amongst others. His genes had been manipulated to make him stronger and increase his visual field. Glorious soon became a popular member of the army and was eventually promoted to the rank of Quadrant General. He had never witnessed an intergalactic war, heck, no one had for many, many millennia.

However, all this was soon about to change as an entire fleet of Brain Balls unexpectedly emerged on Glorious' Universal Radar. There was going to be trouble and Glorius had no back up. Glorius could say nothing else but "Oh sweet Jesus", as the toothpick in his mouth fell to ground in slow motion, with the camera panning all the way down to get the shot. Was this the end of all men or the beginning of the Age of Balls?...

...To be continued.

4 Inquisitives:

  • At 7:03 pm, Blogger Anonymous said…

    I am under siege from the government. I like that: "the Age of Balls."

  • At 10:22 pm, Blogger Jazz said…

    LOL, at first I thought you were a mere anonymous blogger, however, it would seem that in fact your name is actually anonymous. How gravely odd. This gives me an idea of what to put into The Attack of the Brain Balls: Part 2. Thanks for caring to comment.

  • At 9:38 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Comment Spam! Comment spam! Click here to see some premium comment spam!

  • At 7:09 pm, Blogger Jazz said…

    How very interesting, things have taken a rather unexpected turn. I've been spammed even though I had word verification on. This is sham of what we deem to be reality. Whoever did this, haha very funny, you should be happy, you've just reduced my life expectancy by 30 seconds.


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