The Inquisitive Hand Blogger Blog

A Blogger Blog for Religion, Money and Conspiracy

Today's Message: Open your minds, Expand your thoughts, Find meaning.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Smoking Kills Your Family Tree

About as intelligent as a Nepal rat Ever heard of that white little stick that you put up your hole, I mean, in your mouth? Well, consider this statement, "People who smoke are the most intelligent people in the world". Yeah right! If you believe that, you'll believe that my great grandfather was a nepal terrorism terrorist who knew martial arts including wing chung and created an inquisitive hand blog blogger, much like this one in 1788 before computers even existed.

People who smoke and for that matter, people who drink alcohol too, are about as intelligent as a nepal rat who was intelligent enough to be captured, gagged and who is as a result suffering side effects of visual impairment and diarrhea. Common now general public (that's you), get real and get with the times. You are killing you, your family, your in-laws, your children (if you're stupid enough to have any) and are doing the equivalent of digging their graves, polishing their headstones, hiring the undertaker and buying a coffin from your local Co-op.

Now let me prove to you why I make such a radical and somewhat explosive allegation. By smoking and drinking you are doing the following:
  • Killing you and axing down your whole generation of family trees, as we've established
  • The effects of reducing your stress and calming you down are only temporary and besides the after effects of lung cancer, hangovers, reduced eyesight, not being able to run or talk without wheezing like a decapitated Dog without legs surely outweigh the temporary sense of pleasure you experience
  • Smoking and drinking costs money and what is money? Mo-ney is Hon-ey...Ok? For those of you don't do business studies money is a piece of paper that has some value and you use it to exchange for goods and services. The more of this paper you have, the more you can buy. However, if you have more money going out of your pocket than is coming in then we give this a special name "bloody debt". If you want to stay in debt and want to be homeless then fine carry on drinking and smoking whilst I'll be investing for long term
  • Smoking and drinking are the acts of under developed countries (That's a bit of a sweeping statement, what about Japan and USA then?) and barbaric nations (Ok so USA is but what about Japan?) that would rather eat anything in sight including drinking a snake's blood (Ok so that takes Japan also out of the picture but an undeveloped country cannot afford to buy drink or smoke, in fact, they are one's who are being forced by more powerful nations to mine for the raw materials that go into ciggies like tar, urine and uranium)

Now let me offer you a solution to your problem. Replacing the ciggies and alchy with Kundalini Yoga will have the following effects:

  • Yoga is taught at all local and national sports centres and the last time I checked it was like £5 for an hour session per month which is far less than ciggies or alcohol
  • The only side effects are positive ones including a increased life expectancy, control and a glowing face (Note: the face will shine bright orange by default, but if you would like another colour like red or green then please consult your Yoga teacher who will give you a pointer in the wrong direction)

And so my point is proven, improve your health, increase your wealth and improve your stealth (some Kundalini Yoga experts can do some weird stuff like walking through walls, OBEs, NDEs, contacting their alien counterparts in a different galaxy, traveling around the universe, running on water, levitating, seeing into the future, past and present..So be warned these are the forces of good). And once more we have come to an end of a great discussion and reached our conclusion, now it is for you to decide whether you wish to live or die. Good luck my piglets and lab rats.

6 Inquisitives:

  • At 3:39 pm, Blogger Wendy said…

    Hi there, just popping in to say thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your nice comments. Very strong ideas you have here, may be just what our little world needs to wake up. ;-)

     
  • At 11:10 pm, Blogger jeffysspot said…

    i lost 3 relatives in my lifetime to tobaco

     
  • At 12:49 pm, Blogger MacTeng said…

    Well, I'm truly sorry for everyone who got some sort of disease from smoking... but, hey, it's your choice! And if you believe in all sorts of studies, you will find out that almost anything can kill you or cause cancer... And the stuff that's most enjoyable is especially dangerous - usually. So, to hel with it all. You can die only once - but you can also live only once!!!

     
  • At 1:12 pm, Blogger Jazz said…

    As a matter of fact Sabastian you will live many times if you are a Hindu. However, the key to the article is not if it causes cancer, it is the very fact that happiness is only temporary from smoking.

    Also, why be selfish in your own pleasure whilst killing those around you....including uprooting your family tree as my good friend flickers has demonstrated.

    However, it is your choice if you wish to be temporarily happy, unhealthy and not outlive a moth lacking wings. Or the alternative is to stop smoking and be healthy, happy and holy forever. The choice is yours my good decaying friend.

     
  • At 4:18 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Do you really think this post qualifies as a "radical" and "explosive allegation"? Are you truly convinced of your originality on this matter?

    My answer to you: duh. Of course smoking is bad for you. I think most people already know this.

     
  • At 2:42 pm, Blogger Jazz said…

    It always goes back to viral marketing Mr/Mrs "I'd rather stay cowardly anonymous". The way the article is written is somewhat explosive, however, this is the way I prefer to write because it contains a more dramatic effect, as can clearly be seen from your post. This is the beauty of it, oh what beautiful viral tactics I've employed.

     

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